Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Confession

I suffer from depression. A lot of it has to do with my corn allergy, or "intolerance" because if your not having trouble breathing because your throat is closing or if you are not breaking out in hives then you only have an intolerance so the doctors say which is a bunch of $*%&. I have to admit that over the last few months I have not been as careful to look at what I am eating, and it has effected me emotionally and physically. My stomach is always bloated and sore, and I have been feeling down, and angry at the world around me. Its time for me to get it together again. I need a fresh start.

I have gained about 10-15 lbs (wow did I just say that out loud?.....that was hard to admit but I am glad I did!) over the summer especially in the last few weeks before school started for my kids, I ate a lot of things I shouldn't and I diffidently threw moderation out the window.Portion control whats that? Clearly I just didn't care about myself. I was lazy and useless to myself and children and thats not fair to them or myself. I stopped exercising, haven't ran even though my Planter Fasciitus, has heeled and the humidity has been lower, and the weather has been perfect and beautiful. I have come up with every excuse in the book not to help myself.

So now that I have confessed now what? Well small steps will be happening starting tonight out comes the measuring spoons and cups, I need to buy a new kitchen scale (mine broke in the spring) Out will come my food journal and pencils, the calculator and old recipes, and my creative mind to make up new ones. I will be drinking lots of water ( I forget to drink and often have to force myself to drink something) dusting off my Turbo Jam DVDs and weights, hitting the pavement with my oldest child, and putting myself first. This for me will and is the hardest part for me to do, putting myself first. It has to be done.

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